If you were under the impression that over-the-top gut-busting meals are the sole domain of the United States, prepare to be proven wrong, sir. Because here in Porto, there’s an insane sandwich that’s just as artery-clogging as anything you’ll find at the carnival.
Maybe it’s because I’ve been going to the place since I was a kid, and thus have fuzzy childhood memories, but I like McDonald’s. I don’t eat there a whole lot, but every time they add something new to the menu, I feel compelled to check it out.
The Time Out Market in Lisbon is one of those places that you’re pretty much obligated to visit as a tourist; it’s a gourmet food hall curated by a group of journalists, with the idea being that all of the few dozen or so stalls are offering above-average food.
You know what’s better than eating one bifana? Eating two bifanas. And you know what’s even better than that? Eating three.
Need proof? There’s a novelty store in downtown Lisbon that looks like something out of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory — and they only sell colourful cans of sardines with various years printed on them.
Remember that market where I bought the delicious sausage sandwich? I also bought an awe-inspiringly good coconut tart that was so good I figured that it deserved its own post.
So, here’s a fact: Lisbon is an extremely hilly city. Here’s another fact: those hills are jerks.
At first it’s like, “wow cool, look at all of that interesting hilly architecture! It really gives the city character! I wonder how they build everything on a slant like that!” Then you walk up your fifth or six ultra-steep incline of the day with the scorchingly hot Portuguese sun being as unforgiving as always and it’s more like “Hey hill? You’re a stupid jerk and you have a stupid jerk face and I hope you die.”
I spoke the other day about the joys of random discovery; you can add this to the supporting documentation for that argument.
I’m currently in Lisbon, and since I’m trying to be frugal and save money wherever I can, I’m staying in an Airbnb. The place is actually really nice, especially for what it costs, but there’s no air conditioning and I straight-up cannot handle it. For context, it’s generally in the high 20s or low 30s here, so it’s hot.